


Part Time Magical Girl, Full Time Mistake

by widdlewed



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Girls, Brass knuckles, Crack Treated Seriously, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Crack, GOM are the magical antagonist group, Gen, Humor, Kagami is a Magical Boy, Kuroko is just oblivious to everything happening around him, M/M, Magical Boys, Nigou is Magical Contractor/Companion, magical girl au, transformations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-04-17 12:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14188902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/widdlewed/pseuds/widdlewed
Summary: "Congrats kid, you're a Magical Girl now!""But I'm a boy!""It has nothing to do with your gender, it's just a title. Sorry.""You're the one who made it up!! Change it!!""Sorry kid, no can do. You already signed the papers.""I don't get paid enough for this. Wait, what's my hourly wage again?"Or that AU where Nigou makes Kagami a Magical Girl. It goes about as well as you'd think it would. Including the GOM (plus Momoi and Haizaki) as the antagonistic evil group!





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> SPECIAL THANKS TO DarkWoods AND StrawFairy FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS HILARIOUS THING
> 
> Idk when I'll update I'm sorry

“Monster!” A student shrieked, scrambling away from the courtyard as a gigantic tree monster ripped it’s roots from the ground, pulsating red veins cutting into the blackening bark. The tree monster, Jubokko, gave a ear-piercing screech as its rotting roots flailed and slammed miniature earthquakes into the ground.

 

Students and teachers alike scurried towards the school building, their screams ringing in unison with the Jubboko’s wails. The skies darkened overhead, grey clouds rolling through streaks of navy blue. 

 

A student looked out the window, sighing loudly as students hid under their desks, trembling and sobbing. His hand was carding through blue locks, red eyes moving from the window to glimpse at his sleeping friend. 

 

“Let’s go,” a deep, gruff voice barked at his feet. “We can’t let it get into the school. Thank god Tetsuya’s a deep sleeper.” The student huffed, withdrawing his hand from his friend’s hair.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” the student grumbled as he unlatched the window, sliding it open slowly. Howling winds crashed into the glass, causing it to shudder in its metal frame. The student glanced back to see his friend still snoozing, oblivious to the vicious breeze rustling the papers and desks in the classroom. Sighing, he propped a leg up onto the windowsill.

 

“Can’t we go a day without having to do this?” The student grumbled and threw himself out the window, shrieks following his three-floor descent. Mid-air, the student gripped tightly to his black uniform blazer, shredding it easily until the material gave way to sparkling, shimmering red sequins. Gone was his standard Seirin uniform, disappearing into glistening yellow stardust. The student landed heavily onto the ground, creating a crater around him as he stood up. Once the dust cleared, his figure was visible for all to see.

 

His upper half was covered by a red, sequin coated bow, the black trimmed sailor color blowing in the strong winds. Red and black sparkled thread laced through the white spandex material of his top, spelling out the letter T. Lace brushed along his shoulders, framing his firm biceps. Black, fingerless leather gloves covered his sturdy hands, glowing white brass knuckles cupped in his clenched fists. His toned, tanned thighs were covered in black spandex shorts, a frilly, puffy white skirt that barely covered anything, and knee-high no-heel red boots. 

 

His red eyes were sharper, narrowed like a tiger’s ready to pounce on their prey. A black streak ran down his nose, clumping into a black dot on his button nose. His canines were sharpened, poking from his curled lips as the black stripes crossing his cheeks crinkled up. 

 

Kagami Taiga pointed a finger at the Jubokko as a dog landed on his shoulder, blank blue eyes glowing.

 

“ARLIGHT YOU STUPID TREE,” Kagami roared as the screaming began to die down, “TIME TO GET CHOPPED DOWN!”

 

“You couldn’t have come up with something more...witty?” The dog gruffed out, voice low as Kagami shook the animal off him.

 

“Does it look like I take the time to come up with witty one-liners?” Kagami snapped, throwing a punch at a incoming root. "I don't get paid enough to make witty one-liners."

 

“Fair enough,” Nigou commented. 


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starts like a simple day, how did it end up like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's the first chapter

“He’s perfect,” she breathed as she watched him walk away from the table, eyes sparkling. “He’s absolutely perfect.”

 

“You think?” He asked with a sigh, resting his cheek in his hand. She shot him a look, clearly unimpressed by his lack of enthusiasm. 

 

“I  _ know  _ so,” she corrected and her eyes narrowed. “Now we just have to figure out how to...persuade him.” 

 

“He’s probably lonely and desperate,” he offered up. “He’s a transfer from America. New place, new school, no friends. He’ll probably be easy to talk into it.”

 

“I dunno,” another guy sighed. “He seemed pretty stubborn.” She laughed loudly, the noise sounding menacing to anyone who was listening in on their conversation.

 

“Call  _ him _ . Tell him to follow him until tonight. That’s when we’ll make our move.”

 

“Got it Boss,” the two guys chanted in unison and she smiled, pleased.

 

* * *

 

 

All things considered, Kagami’s first day at school went by pretty well. The person who sat behind him was almost a actual ghost, nearly giving Kagami a heart attack the moment he realized someone actually sat there. His new classmate with the impassive face and blank blue eyes was a mystery to Kagami, barely speaking and always seeming to appear from the very shadows. 

 

But other than that, it was good. Tomorrow he tried out for the basketball club and then he’d be content.

 

“I should find a job,” Kagami grumbled to himself as he shot another basket, chasing after the ball as he thought aloud. He didn’t need the money but it’d be nice to have some pocket change to go explore outside of Tokyo on his off days. 

 

“You want a job?” A deep, gruff voice called from behind Kagami. Kagami missed the hoop, the ball hitting the fence behind the hoop as he whirled.

 

“What?!” Kagami looked for the source of the voice, only to come up with thin air. Was he hearing things?

 

“A job,” that same voice spoke and Kagami’s eyes slowly trickled down. A small husky puppy stared at him, blank blue eyes staring into his soul. “You looking for a job?” 

 

Kagami emitted a high pitched shriek as he scrambled away, the dog’s eyes widening as he hit the bench and toppled over.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Kagami cried out, tears forming. “S-STAY AWAY! Shoo! Shoo!” The dog took a step towards Kagami, then another, doggie expression falling as Kagami squeaked at each step. 

 

“Kid, I ain’t gonna bite you,” the dog explained and Kagami threw his bag at the dog. The dog dodged, growling. “Now that’s just rude! I’m here to offer you a job!” 

 

“You’re a talking dog!” Kagami yelled out, pointing a finger at the dog. “How the fuck do you expect me to trust you?! You could be Satan for all I know!” Kagami gasped, touching his head. “I’m hallucinating. I must have missed that basket and it came back at me. I must have been hit and got a concussion. I-”

 

“Nope,” the dog spoke as they rested a tiny paw on Kagami’s shoe, “this is real.” Kagami stared, wide-eyed at the paw, before he slumped over unconscious. “Well. That didn’t go as expected.”

 

* * *

 

 

Kagami jerked into a sitting position, making the girl who’d been about to touch him scream.

 

“GOD! Don’t do that!” The girl gasped, holding a hand to her beating heart as she tried to regulate her breathing. “Are you okay?”

 

“What-where-who are you?” Kagami stuttered to the brown haired girl, who rolled her eyes. 

 

“I literally talked to you during the entrance ceremony. I’m with the basketball club.” Kagami stared blankly at her. “Aida Riko. The coach of the basketball club for Seirin.”

 

“Oh,” Kagami stated, clearly still having no idea who she was. She huffed. 

 

“So, you okay? We didn’t expect you to faint.” Kagami’s cheeks flared up as he stuttered, only to pause as his brain caught up with her words.

 

“We?” Kagami echoed and a deadpan bark sounded by her feet. Kagami jerked up onto his feet, still standing on the bed, to glare at the dog wagging its tail.

 

“Nigou, stop,” Riko chided and turned a icy smile to Kagami. “Get off the bed now.” Kagami wavered and the dog, Nigou, waddled over to the opposite side of the room. Kagami slowly slunk off the bed and Riko nodded at him.

 

“Okay, so, first thing’s first. The talking dog.” 

 

“The talking dog.”

 

Kagami and Riko stared at each other while Nigou rolled his eyes. 

 

“He’s our mascot,” Riko explained easily. Kagami looked at Nigou, who looked like he’d like to sleep. 

 

“Mascot,” Kagami repeated, eyebrows pinching. “Mascot? For what? Is he a robot?” Riko laughed loudly, smacking his arm. Ow.

 

“No,” she stated, falling serious. “He’s a mythical entity formed of magical powers our feeble minds can’t comprehend.” 

 

“Ok…?” Kagami looked ready to go back to sleep. “And he talks.”

 

“And he talks,” Riko agreed, nodding amiably at him. “See, easy. Now, we heard you’re looking for a job.”

 

“No,” Kagami denied, eyes flashing back to Nigou. “I’m not. My parents are loaded.”

 

“Too bad.” Riko smacked him on the arm again. “We’re hiring.” A pause. “We pay hourly and overtime!”

 

“Who’s we?” Kagami cried out, arm stinging. “And please stop hitting me.”

 

“The Seirin Organization For Defense Against Monsters, of course! Or the S.O.F.D.A.M, for short.” Riko looked sheepish at the name. “It’s still a work in progress.”

 

“SOFDAM,” Kagami repeated, expression blank. “Uh-huh...and what do you do?” 

 

“Kick ass and destroy monsters, of course,” Nigou called from the side of the room. “You’ve been in America so you don’t know about the monsters.” 

 

“The monsters. In Japan. And you...fight them?” Kagami exhaled heavily through his nose. He was getting a headache.” 

 

“We don’t, no. Nigou and his partner did but his partner is on hospital rest,” Riko explained and Kagami paled.

 

“From a monster attack?”

 

“Oh no, a completely unrelated basketball injury. He nearly broke his knee,” Riko waved away. “So, we’re looking for a replacement!”

 

“Replacement...what?” Kagami asked, falling back onto the bed. He sat there, feeling like this was some weird acid trip or nightmare. 

 

“You are granted the abilities to harness the magical powers of Nigou’s dimension to fight monsters and save lives,” Riko explained as she turned, digging through a stack of papers by the bed. “Here, the guidebook.” 

 

Kagami leafed through the book, eyes taking in  **Magical Guardian** and  **Hourly Wage** . He skimmed the info, his eyes hurting as he tried to make sense of the kanji. His mind wasn’t able to work though, not at the moment, so it was all just black and white blurs. 

 

“And you want me to...be the replacement?” Kagami squinted at them, suspicious. “Why me?”

 

“You’re nearly the the same size as our last guy,” Riko explained and sighed dramatically. “It’s a pain to get a new costume made. Takes a good chunk of power that could be used to defeat monsters.” 

 

“Uh-huh,” Kagami spoke and closed the guidebook. “So, um, is this for real or am I being punk’d?” Riko blinked owlishly at him before bursting out laughing. 

 

“No, no, this is real. Trust me, Kagami-kun, it’s real. So, you ready to be our new part timer?” Riko beamed brightly. 

 

“I’m pretty sure this is sketchy as heck,” Kagami spoke after a moment.

 

“I don’t hear a ‘but’,” Riko frowned. Kagami looked at her blankly and she crossed her arms over her chest, eyes challenging. 

 

“I’m also the coach for the basketball team,” Riko reminded. “If you say no, I won’t let you on the team.” Even as she said it, she looked pain to threaten him with such a risky bluff. Kagami looked at the dog, at her, at the booklet, before giving a long, drawn out groan. 

 

“How much do I get paid an hour?” Kagami asked and Riko squealed, scrambling for a pen and the papers. 

 

“Here, sign this!” Riko chattered brightly as she shoved the formal looking papers in his face. Kagami took them, barely reading them as he signed and stamped the papers. The papers glowed, honest to god glowed, before disappearing into sparkles.

 

Kagami stared.

 

“Congrats kid, you’re a Magical Girl now!” Nigou called from the far end, eyes bright. 

 

“But I’m a boy!” Kagami yelled, alarmed. Wait,  _ Magical Girl?! _

 

“It has nothing to do with your gender, it’s just a title. Sorry.” Riko shrugged. “It’s more of a trademark than anything now-a-days. Like Sailor Moon or Tokyo Mew Mew. Just aesthetic.” 

 

“You’re the one who made it up!! Change it!!” Kagami demanded. Oh god, what had he gotten himself into? He was regretting every life choice he’d ever made up to this point. Damn him for giving into peer pressure and threats easily. 

 

“Sorry kid, no can do. You already signed the papers,” Nigou commented as his tiny paws tapped against the floor. “You’re bound under contract now by me. We’re a team. Nice working with you.”

 

“I don’t get paid enough for this! Wait, what’s my hourly wage again?” Kagami was seriously regretting everything. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day my chapters will be of good quality and quantity. Today is not that day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know man lol

Kagami had hoped the night before was a dream. He’d prayed to whatever deity would listen that he’d had a bad case of food poisoning and the entire event from the night before was nothing but a lucid dream. 

 

The moment he stepped out of his apartment and met eyes with Nigou, he knew he’d fucked up. 

 

“Mornin’ kid,” Nigou greeted as Kagami gave a faint whimper. “What? Are you...are you afraid of dogs?”

 

“Dogs are completely rational creatures to fear!” Kagami snapped back, dancing around Nigou and skipping three steps in his haste to escape the talking being. “Why are you here?”

 

“We’re partners now,” Nigou explained. “Why wouldn’t I be with you?” Nigou trotted after Kagami, easily keeping pace. Kagami looked visibly pained to be walking with the dog but kept his steps long, eyes sliding over to him every once in a while. 

 

“Are you going to be following me to school?” Kagami did not whine, no he did not. “Can you, like, not?” Nigou sent Kagami a unamused dry look before he snorted.

 

“No can do, kid. Monster attacks have been more active lately since the school year began, so we gotta stick together.”

 

“But the school year literally just started,” Kagami pointed out with a frown. Nigou continued trotting, silent as his tail wagged to and fro. “Okay, cool, ignore me.”

 

“So, make any friends yet?” Nigou asked as they neared the bus stop. Kagami shook his head, frown weighing his face down further.

 

“Nope,” Kagami commented with an eyeroll. “I wanna be friends with my seatmate, at least. Hopefully. Maybe.” Kagami frowned. “I dunno.” Nigou gave his shoe a gentle pat with his paw and Kagami whimpered again. 

 

“Don’t worry kid, Seirin’s clubs become family. You’ll have friends in no time.” 

 

* * *

 

 

True to his words, immediately after Kagami joined the basketball club, everyone welcomed him like he was a long-time friend. The upperclassmen patted him on the shoulders and whispers words of, “Thank you for your sacrifice” which was completely NOT ominous. 

 

Kuroko, the ghostly kid who sat behind Kagami, also joined the basketball team and seemed more than willing to talk to Kagami. He was soft spoken and easy to lose in a crowd but once he opened up to you, he had a surprisingly sharp tongue and dry sense of humor.

 

Kagami was smitten from word one. 

 

Kuroko Tetsuya wanted Kagami to be his Light, whatever that was. It was probably some new ‘hipster’ slang for partner in basketball or something; Kagami didn’t keep up with the lingo. 

 

(And wow didn’t that make him sound old but he didn’t have time to know the newest slang words or memes of the day, he had more important things to do like suffer with the slowly building touches of Nigou and figuring out exactly what shade of blue Kuroko’s eyes were ~~and that wasn’t gay at all what were you talking about~~ -)

 

Whatever it meant, Kagami was all for being Kuroko’s partner. 

 

In the background, Nigou made a pitiful noise and shook his head at his idiotic partner. “Teppei was so much smarter than this.” Kagami rightfully ignored him. 

 

Then the first monster attack happened. 

 

It had been a average, kinda chaotic practice. Kuroko and Kagami were practicing passing to each other, Kuroko wanting Kagami’s body to get used to the strain of catching his passes. Kagami thought that was the cutest thing until Kuroko accidentally nearly broke his arm. Ow. 

 

Then fangirls were screaming, their shrieks echoing in the gym. Seirin had looked over to see Kise Ryouta, famous model and basketball player, waving cheerfully.

 

“Kurokocchi~!” Kise cried out after the fangirls dispersed. He tackled Kuroko into a hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek. In the background, Kagami squaked indignantly like a hen whose eggs were being manhandled. “I missed you! Why did you come to this school~?” 

 

Kise ignored Seirin in favor of peppering more kisses along Kuroko’s face. Kuroko, eyebrows pinched and lips tugged into a small frown, shoved Kise back. 

 

“Kise-kun, please stop. I liked this school,” Kuroko spoke, keeping Kise at arms distance away from him. “Everyone here is nice.” Kuroko’s eyes flickered to Kagami’s figure and Kise’s eyes narrowed. “Everyone is very nice.”

 

“Oh,” Kise purred out, knocking Kuroko’s arms away from his chest to hug him tightly. “ _ I see _ .” Kise’s eyes burned into Kagami, who snarled back.

 

“PDA!” Kagami roared and Kise gave a cry as Kuroko was ripped from his arms, tossed over Kagami’s shoulder. “There is this thing, called personal space? Maybe learn it?” Kagami seethed out as he dropped Kuroko and nudged him over to the awaiting arms of Mitobe and Koganei. The two upperclassmen gave Kagami approving looks as Kuroko just blinked, lost.

 

“Excuse you,” Kise hissed out, getting right in Kagami’s face, “but stay out of our business. What Kurokocchi and I do is-”

 

“I’m his Light,” Kagami blurted, shoving Kise away from him, “so his business is my business now!”

 

“....no it isn’t,” Kuroko mumbled to himself. No one heard him. 

 

And then the entire gym was trembling, the light fixtures shaking and wobbling off their support beams, and Nigou popped up. 

 

“TIME FREEZE!” Nigou called out and time seemed to freeze. Kagami looked around, seeing the light fixtures paused mid-swing. Riko’s mouth was opened to yell, everyone on the team paused. 

 

“Is that a talking dog?” Kise shrieked out, jumped back as Nigou dashed over to Kagami. Nigou skidded to a halt, eyes wide at the teen. “Oh my god, he looks like Kurokocchi! Come here puppy!” Kise crouched down, making kissy noises to the dog. 

 

“Why aren’t you frozen?” Nigou rasped out, ears laying flat on his head as his teeth bared in a snarl. “Who are you?  _ What  _ are you?” Kise stood up, pressing his bangs out of his face. As he did so, yellow sparkles trickled down his body, trading his grey suit-jacket and pants for a sequin, sparkly monstrosity. A yellow, sparkly top hat rested on his head, lopsided, a black veil falling into his clown-painted face. His face, painted in reds, blues, and pinks, was taut and menacing against his gleaming gold eyes. His uniform, looking like a scandalous halloween like costume of a ringmaster (open back and skin tight pants included), was yellow and black, his black heels clinking against the gym flooring.

 

“What the fuck.” Kagami gestured to Kise, eyes wide. “What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK?!”

 

“He’s adorable,” Kise purred out in amusement, fiddling one of his leather gloves along the tail end of his coat. “Where’d you find him, Chumps R Us?” The ground shuddered and cracked, shifting and raising under Kise as a gigantic monster made of mud and pipes lifted up. Kise plopped down on its head, crossing one leg over the other with a cheshire-like smile. 

 

“....How much am I getting paid again?” Kagami cried out. Nigou patted his shoe again. 

 

“That,” Nigou gestured with his snout at the monster and Kise, “is your enemy. I always knew the Generation of Miracles were behind the monster attacks.”

 

“Wow,” Kagami dryly bit out, “you couldn’t have, maybe, filled me in? I didn’t see that in the pamphlet.” 

 

“It was a working theory,” Nigou defended and his tail wagged. “You ready to fight?” Kagami stared the dog down. 

 

“No,” he answered honestly and looked over at his frozen teammates. “Is this gonna be direct deposite or…?” 

 

“I’m bored,” Kise drawled out and the giant lunged. Kagami snagged Nigou by the collar, choking the creature as he tucked and rolled away from the monster. “Play with me~” Kise’s smile was razor sharp and held barely any emotions. “If you don’t I might just take Kurokocchi-”

 

“How do I kick his ass?” Kagami snarled low, dropping Nigou. Nigou wheezed, rubbing at his abused neck. 

 

“Rip your clothing off. It activates the uniforms.” Kagami paused, looking down at the creature again. 

 

“What?” Kagami spoke and Kise paused, blinking.

 

“Did that talking dog just say you have to strip?!” He squealed. “What kind of barbaric school is Kurokocchi going to?!” Kise hopped down from his monster, bouncing his way over to the frozen phantom. He reached out-

 

Only for Kagami to punch him out of the way, his gym uniform gone and replaced with a mass of pink sparkles, glitter, and too much skin for him to be comfortable with revealing.

 

“Leave my team alone!” Kagami roared, pausing to glance down at his outfit. His face fell. “...You said it was only a title.”

 

“Riko has a very strange range of humor,” Nigou argued and Kagami sent a scathing glare at the coach. 

 

“Owie~” Kise whined, rubbing at his ruined paint-job. He dropped his hand and his makeup was perfected, his painted smile tugged into a frown. “That wasn’t nice.” 

 

“You literally came in here with a monster,” Kagami pointed out as he threw himself at the monster, pushing it further away from the team. “Um, how do I defeat this thing?”

 

“Punch it,” Nigou spoke. “Like, not enough of a punch to have copyright called on us for defeating monsters with one punch, but like a moderate amount of punches. Maybe some brass knuckles? Just fucking kill it, Kid.”

 

“I’m kinda pitying you right now,” Kise mused allowed as Kagami dodged a rock punch. “Did you seriously just get picked off the streets?”

 

“Listen Barbie Doll Ken, I’m getting sick of you bitching about my situation!” Kagami roared out. Kise raised an eyebrow.

 

“Barbie Doll Ken? Wow, I am  _ seriously  _ offended,” Kise sarcastically spat. “Why is Kurokocchi here? I’m taking him.” Kise skipped over to Kuroko again, only for his phone to go off right before he could touch Kuroko.

 

“...Stop,” Kise reluctantly called to his monster. The monster stopped and Kagami stumbled to a halt. “Hello? Akashicchi~? I’m, um, well you know-”

 

Kagami looked at Nigou, who made wild and vague gestures to the monster. Nodding, Kagami stupidly blurted, “Brass knuckles?” Gold and pink bejeweled brass knuckles materialized on his hands and Kagami wasted no time in slamming them repeatedly into the monster. The monster shuddered and exploded into yellow dust just as Kise hung up the phone. 

 

“Well,” Kise bitterly gritted out, figure tense, “I must leave. RESTORE!” Kagami watched, entranced, as the gym repaired itself. Nigou gave a growl as Kise’s outfit was replaced with his uniform and Kagami jumped as his own uniform burst into glitters, leaving his gym outfit. 

 

“TIME IN!” Nigou called and time unfroze. Everyone stared awkwardly, swearing Kise and Kagami were in different places than they were a moment ago.

 

“I have to go, Kurokocchi~” Kise whined, bouncing over and shoving Seirin out of the way. He kissed Kuroko’s head, hugging him tightly. “But we’re having a practice match against your school. Winner gets you?”

 

“No,” Kuroko deadpanned and Kise pressed another kiss to his head. 

 

“Okay, see you for our match for you~! Bye bye Kurokocchi. Bye Chump,” Kise snorted at Kagami and Kagami didn’t hesitate to flip the blonde off. Kise left and Riko eyed Nigou, who nodded stiffly. 

 

“Is that a dog?” Kuroko asked and his eyes seemed to sparkle. “You are a cutie.”

 

“Bark,” Nigou barked out in a high pitched tune, tail wagging. Kuroko bent down, petting the dog and Hyuuga smacked Kagami on the back.

 

“Good job. Stay after practice to debrief,” the Captain smiled and Kagami just nodded, lost.

 

Was this really worth it? Eyes sliding over to Kuroko softly smiling at Nigou, he thought maybe. Just maybe. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for stopping by and reading this prologue chapter! I have no idea when the next chapter is gonna come out. Whoops.


End file.
